A Runner Looks at 50

What I’ve learned over half a century

To be honest, I never saw 50 coming. I mean, I knew my 50th birthday was approaching. I just didn’t give it a ton of thought other than idly daydreaming about finally being the young guy in a new age group . 

Now 40, that one I saw hurtling toward me like Edwin Moses in the ‘84 Olympics.* Faced with the existential weirdness that comes from approaching middle age, I looked at the not-really-in-shape man in the mirror and said: “You’re not backing down just yet. You still have more to give.” 

*(If you got that reference, this newsletter is definitely for you.)

With that declaration, I made it a mission to see what would happen if I followed a formal training plan instead of just making things up as I went along. After years of dabbling in running-related activities, I finally became a dedicated Runner with a capital-R for the first time in my 40s.

That mission defined the next decade, leading me on a journey of self-discovery that continues to evolve with each passing day. After all these years, I finally understand that it’s not just about showing up every day hoping to improve. It’s about arriving with a plan, a set of attainable goals, and the knowledge that improvement awaits those who persevere over the course of time. 

Through ups and downs, injuries and rehabs, validating accomplishments and soul-crushing disappointments, that mission slowly transformed me from an out-of-shape middle aged dude with no exercise discipline into an ultra runner with the aerobic engine of a man half my age. That’s not bragging, by the way. That’s simply stating facts. 

Besides, there’s no such thing as a humble brag when you turn 50. Having lived on both sides of the fitness equation, you either have it or you don’t. There’s no magic pill you can take. No super-secret workout regiment that only a select few know about. All you need to acquire fitness is a solid training plan, the will to keep going, and a belief in yourself. 

When you put all those elements together consistently over time, what fitness provides is the raw evidence that you can accomplish anything once you set your mind to it. That’s pretty cool. If the last decade taught me anything, it’s that our potential is often limited by the perception we have of ourselves. 

I was so young once.

Had you known me in my early 40s, you never would have believed such a metamorphosis was possible. I’m living through it, and it still catches me off guard. Sometimes in the middle of a long training run or a challenging workout, I wonder: Is this really me? Inevitably following some arduous trial or tribulation, the answer reveals itself. Yes. This is really you. 

While turning 40 shook me with restless energy, hitting 50 fills me with a sense of well-earned peace. You can’t fake endurance at this age. Either the work gets done or it doesn’t. There’s a commitment to the grind, yes, but at this point, running is no longer a sacrifice. It’s who I am. 

In a universe that often doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense, running provides stability and structure to balance the chaos and disorder. It instills discipline while offering the freedom to explore personal limits amid the natural wonders of the outside world. Running wakes me at daybreak and puts me to sleep with the setting sun just to have the opportunity to do it all again the next day. 

The journey doesn’t end with the run. There’s a functional strength training path that’s beginning to pay massive dividends in my quality of life. Running also informs how I eat and prepare food. (Early 40s me didn’t really cook and definitely didn’t think about the nutritional content I was putting into my body. This is why youth is wasted on the young.) 

In my better moments, I’d like to think running even provides a blueprint for managing many of life's heavy situations. The ability to zoom in on specific issues while keeping the big picture in mind is just one of many traits and habits that have been developed along with my aerobic base.  

It’s funny because while all of this feels intuitive, every lesson was learned the hard way during the previous decade. Through trial and error, success and failure, new systems replaced old structures, and this thing we call running continued to morph in strange and fascinating directions. I’d be denying some essential piece of my existence if I didn’t take the ride. 

Final race of my 40s, BQ finally in sight.

From time to time, my wife Lena asks me where all of this is going. I don’t really have a great answer because what I’d like is for running to continue going for as long as possible. That will probably mean more races, more training seasons, and more personal sacrifices that occasionally bleed into family commitments. Apologies in advance, dear. I’m trying to do better on that last part. 

This newsletter is about balancing all of the obligations life throws our way and arriving at a place where ordinary everyday runners can create a space where they can continue evolving on their own terms. While that journey may look very different depending on each individual runner, the central theory of Running, Probably is that we’re all trying to get somewhere. Maybe with a little inspiration, knowledge, and encouragement, we can all get there together.