Running with kids

Notes and observations from a father/son run.

For the past few months, my 9-year-old son has been asking me when we can go for a run together. And for several months, my answer was always the same: After the Vermont 50. 

Part of my reluctance to take him on runs is that his philosophy is to sprint for as long as he can until he gets tired. After catching his breath, he does it again, and again, and again until he wears himself out. 

His style is not really conducive to going for a run together, which is fine. After all, he’s nine. There’s no sense letting formalities get in the way of having fun. 

What he loves about running is going as fast as possible, especially on downhills where he laughs and waves his arms around like crazy the whole way down. The last thing I want to do is take away his joy by having him slow down and pace himself. 

At the same time, I’m well aware that he wants to run with me because he’s at the age where he wants to do everything with me. I’m also well aware that won’t last forever. And so, a few days after my race, we began making plans for our first official father/son run.

The general recommendations for the maximum distance kids should run is 1.5 miles for those under 8 and 3.2 miles (roughly 5K distance) for kids aged 9-11. As it turned out, my first post-race recovery run was two miles. Right in the sweet spot. 

Getting after it.

It’s important to note that over the last few weeks, I observed some subtle changes in his mindset. While helping crew my 50-mile effort, he watched runners moving at every imaginable pace for 10 hours. It started to click that maybe going as fast as possible wasn’t the only way to run. 

After we came home, he watched runners compete in a local 5K, and saw a handful of kids running with their parents. Drawing inspiration from our friend’s daughter who’s been tearing up the middle school cross country circuit, he’s been asking when he can enter a race. (Not yet, is the answer.) 

All of which is to say that going for a run with dad was his idea. That may be the most important component of enjoying a fun outing with your kids. When they’re motivated to enjoy themselves, it makes everything so much easier. 

A few more observations/tips:

Set expectations and a mindful pace: Before we started, I made it clear that blasting right out of the chute wasn’t going to help him run two miles. He’d have to follow my lead and stay patient. My goal was to find a pace where he felt comfortable, which happened to be around 12-minutes per mile. 

Let them lead: Once we found our pace, I let him run a few strides in front. That allowed me to keep an eye on him for any signs of physical distress. It also empowered him to keep a steady pace without feeling like it was a competition. 

Have fun, always: Did he jump and touch every low-hanging leaf on every tree? He did. Did he laugh and call me old man while pretending to sprint away from me? Absolutely. When it stops being fun, it’s time to stop. 

Make it conversational: Keeping up a steady stream of chit-chat is a great way to make sure the pace isn’t too much for your child to handle without asking them how they feel every 15 seconds. (Inevitably: Fine, dad.) So long as they can talk in complete sentences, they’re probably doing alright. 

That said, check in frequently: I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t monitoring him constantly. My son isn’t one to whine or complain. If he did, that would be a huge red flag. I also knew how much our run meant to him, so my fear was he would push himself too hard. Every quarter mile or so, I’d ask how he was doing while offering praise and encouragement. 

Safety first: For our 2-mile run, I chose a flat dirt trail with no road crossings where we could turn around if necessary. That way, if things did go wrong, we could easily shorten the distance. 

Be prepared to stop: About a mile into our run, which took us past a working farm, he wanted to say hello to the pigs. Great idea. Not only did we get a chance to catch our breath, we were also able to have a few sips of water. 

Pigs!

Bring snacks: A run like that burns a lot of little kid energy, so I made sure to pack one of his favorite bars as a post-run treat along with some pretzels and plenty of water. Lena rode her bike out to meet us, so after we all had our exercise, we made a stop at one of our favorite places for cider donuts. 

All in all, a great day. Quite honestly, I was surprised with how well he handled the run. At no point did he seem overwhelmed, and it was a blast watching grim-faced runners crack a smile when he offered a cheery, “Good morning!” to everyone who passed.  

Toward the end of our run, I told him he could open up a kick at the end. He turned on the jets and left me in the dust, laughing the whole way.