Runners I Know: Lena Flannery

A conversation with my partner, who ran a marathon way before I did, and is the unsung hero of all our adventures.

Long before I ever considered the idea of running a marathon, my wife Lena had already checked it off her life’s to-do list. Watching Lena dedicate herself to a marathon training plan was inspiring and somewhat bewildering at the time. Who does something like this? 

It’s funny to look back at it now, some 15 years later. While I’m constantly training for big distance races, she stopped running after a series of hip injuries took the joy out of the experience. 

One thing about Lena, she’s all about having fun. Whether it’s road biking, hiking, paddle boarding, open water swimming, snowboarding, or whatever happens to inspire her at the moment, her goal is to simply have as much fun as possible. 

We talked about what running meant to her back then, and what it means to her now that she’s become the partner and support system for a dedicated runner. A development neither of us saw coming, by the way. Most of all we laughed a lot throughout the interview, which was … fun. 

This interview, like all the other Runners I Know conversations, is free and unlocked. Please consider a paid subscription to access all the RP content.

Running Probably: When did you start running?

Lena Flannery: I first started running as part of another sport. As part of the tennis team we had to run laps in high school. And then in college on the rugby team we would run a covered bridge loop. Running just for running’s sake, would have been in my mid 20s. 

RP: What compelled you to start running at that point? 

LF: I liked being outside. I wanted to stay fit and be active. It was part of an active lifestyle. Running made sense because it was easy to do without a gym membership. You only need your shoes. 

RP: How structured was it at that point? 

LF: At first, I was just running here and there for fun. Then I did a Hal Higdon program like everybody does. I would do races. I did the corporate challenge with my Boston mag co-workers, that was the classic 5K. 

And then I did the B.A.A. half marathon where we ran through the zoo and saw a giraffe, which was pretty cool. I thought I wasn’t going to make it. That was really hard. I had to give myself a pep talk to make it through those 13.1 miles. 

RP: Did I know you did the B.A.A. half? I don’t think I did. 

LF: Well I did!

I ran it with my friend Wendy and I channeled my friend Isaac giving me a pep talk: You can do it, you’re the best, you totally got this, look at you go. That kind of stuff. That was a hard one. 

If I didn’t have a race, then I wasn’t running regularly, but I set myself up with a number of races and followed the plan. Without a race I wasn’t going to do it. The big culmination was the Hartford Marathon. 

RP: We started dating while you were training and I was living in Philly at the time. We went on a beautiful run over by Boathouse Row at twilight on a summer evening as I recall. 

LF: We did. We had some good runs. That was when the tables were flipped. You would want to have brunch and laze around and watch a football game and I would be itching to run. 

RP: I had no conception of what a marathon training plan entailed. 

LF: None. We did some training runs together. There was a long run in Salem when we were house sitting and you held my water bottles and Gatorade, which was great. Thank you for that. 

I also remember one on the Charles where you were supposed to meet me on your bike to give me some more water. You couldn’t get your bike tires pumped up, so you wound up running six or seven miles with me. 

RP: I remember I scared the hell out of you. 

LF: You did! I think you jumped out from behind a bush. I was like, “Geez! What are you doing?!” 

RP: You didn’t miss many runs on that plan as I recall. 

LF: If I did, I was stressed. I liked checking the boxes. Have a plan, check the box. It appealed to my organized self. 

RP: That was inspiring to me because I had run a half and thought that was it for me. When you ran a marathon, I was like, wow.

LF: Because I ran a marathon first. 

RP: Would you like to say that again? 

LF: I would. I would like it noted for the record that Mrs. Flanns ran a marathon before you did. 

The thing that inspired me to run the marathon was watching Boston. I was over by one of the overpasses near Fenway. It’s not a big hill, but it’s Mile 25 and it was hot. I was so impressed that all these runners of all ages and sizes and abilities were doing this. 

I really felt, if that person can do it, maybe I can too. That was incredibly inspiring. 

RP: Do you remember what happened after the Hartford marathon because I do. 

LF: We had to get your car inspected because you forgot to do it. And I was very unhappy about that. I was in disbelief that I accomplished this great thing and then we had to go straight to the mechanic. Getting up to my fourth floor apartment also wasn’t the greatest. There were a lot of stairs. 

And here’s the thing. I could have gone faster. It was actually a bit of a letdown. I didn’t have that emotional release that I thought I would. I got that after my 20-mile training run. If you remember, I was crying on the side of the road next to a gas station by the Charles River. 

At the end of the marathon, it was very anti-climatic. It didn’t have the same resonance. But for me, I checked off the box. I'm really glad I did it, but I do not feel the need to do that again. 

RP: Where does this story change for you because you don’t run any more. 

LF: I do not. Hartford was in the fall and I had enough running by then, so I stopped running in the winter and did other activities. 

In the spring I went to pick it back up again. I think I went out for five miles and my hip started hurting. I didn’t listen to it and then it really started hurting. Basically, I got into this injury cycle. I would have a lot of nagging pains and couldn’t quite shake them. 

It stopped being fun. For me, the first mile or two were always hard. Always. Miles four-through-whatever would be great, so it was frustrating to be in a spot where I could only run 1-3 miles because those are the hard ones. I didn’t want to do those if I couldn’t get the fun ones afterward, so it became a cycle of frustration. 

For a while I really wanted to make running work. I went to physical therapy for runners and saw a trainer who did a gait analysis. I put a lot of time into it. Even after that I was still having structural issues. That’s when I decided that I really gave it my all, and it was Ok to move on. 

RP: You had a hard time at first with that, if I remember correctly. 

LF: I did. One time you and Brad went out for a run in the snow. You came back and were all glowy and happy and I was just mad. I was jealous. I want to go run in the snow too. And I think I put my shoes on and ran for a little while, but mostly walked.  

That was hard because I really loved being outside and having time to think.  I found it useful to think. I missed that part of it, but my body just didn’t cooperate. 

Then when I got pregnant, I thought, well, this is a great time to stop trying to run. So I did the elliptical. Note to readers: If you do the elliptical there’s a chance your baby will always want that motion and never nap without movement. 

So, I stopped even trying to run, and then afterward, I realized that walking gave me many of the same benefits without the stress on my hips and my knees. Running isn’t for everybody. I believe that. You’re not a failure if it doesn’t work for you. 

There’s a trainer who I like a lot from Australia. Kayla Itsines. And she doesn’t run. She's very fit. That was really important for me to hear. You can be fit and you can be committed to exercise, and you don’t have to run. I can still be all these things that I believe I am and not run. 

An activity for all seasons.

RP: You’re a dabbler, I think it’s fair to say. In our basement we have stand up paddle boards, bikes, snowboards, cross country skis, snow shoes. That’s your influence. The bike is really good for you, I think, because it allows you to do something outside on your own. 

LF: I’m glad you brought that up because that’s what I eventually transitioned to after running. If I can’t run long, what can I do? I can bike. I still get a lot of the same benefits of being outside. It’s good cardio. I enjoy organized rides with friends, solo rides, it’s very flexible. 

So, in some ways I shifted my running attention to road biking. 

RP: You really like stand up paddle boarding. 

LF: I find it very peaceful. I can disconnect. I don’t have a device with me out there. There’s no phone calls. It’s very quiet on the water. Just being on the water, the waves, it’s calming for me and I am not a calm person by nature. 

It’s the closest I’ll ever get to meditation. 

RP: One of the other things you did during this period was a triathlon. 

LF: Oh yeah, I taught myself how to swim in open water. 

RP: You literally taught yourself by watching YouTube videos. 

LF: I forgot about that! Right, I was still running a little bit. So I did a couple of sprint triathlons and taught myself how to swim in open water. 

RP: It’s funny because even though you’re a dabbler, when you get into something, you dive into the dabble. 

LF: Exactly. When I’m doing something, I enjoy it deeply. So when it’s winter I’m all in on snowboarding. I’m watching the snow report and figuring out the good days to skip school. I’ve decided we get one power day to skip school each year. 

I’m trying to diversify my fitness regimen. That keeps it exciting and it works for me. I could not do one activity as much as you do. 

RP: So, right around the time you stopped running was when I started running seriously. Eight years later it’s taken on a life of its own that I didn’t think either of us suspected it would. 

LF: Nooooooope. 

RP: You would have laughed if someone said, Paul’s going to become an ultrarunner. 

LF: Is college football not happening anymore? 

RP: That’s why I don’t run on Saturdays! How do you feel as the partner of someone who runs a lot? 

LF: I feel like we eat a lot of pasta. 

Sometimes I feel like we have two children. We have a child and we have a running child and they both have needs. Both of their schedules need to be taken into account on a daily basis. 

RP: I don’t know if I feel comfortable having you refer to my running like a petulant child. I would say we have lots of schedules and running is a big one. 

LF: It’s a consideration. 

RP: Fair. Is it frustrating? 

LF: It can be. It gives some structure to our family rhythms, which can be nice. And you do a good job of communicating things like: this is going to be a long week, or when you need a certain time slot. 

What I do appreciate is we’re not one of those families where a partner just says, ‘Hey I’m going for a run,’ and you don’t expect it, or know how long they’re going to be gone. I’m thankful that everything is planned out. 

RP: If anything, I give you too much detail. 

LF: Yes, sometimes I glaze over. All I need to know is when you’re walking back in that door. I don’t care that it’s hills. I don’t care that it’s tempo. Don’t care what shoes you’re wearing or what layers you’re wearing. Not my concern. 

RP: What are your concerns? 

LF: That you make it back in one piece. You’ve done a good job on days when it’s truly not safe because of weather or other conditions that you don’t go. I’m appreciative of that. 

RP: What other considerations do you think are important as the partner of a runner. I’m assuming food is a big one. 

LF: Food is a huge one. I don’t know if every runner is like you, but you’re very regimented on things you like to eat, especially before a long run. As a result we’ve had pasta every Thursday night for years and years. 

Finally, I decided that I don’t have to eat like you do, and that was an important thing for me. I also realize that I sometimes inadvertently eat like an ultra runner and I am not an ultra runner, so I need to make sure I’m making good choices. I’m also not a vegetarian. We have a lot going on here! 

I need to make sure I don’t get pulled into the whims of the training cycle because I’m only a supporting part of that. My role is to support your goals. 

One thing that works for us, is that we each get a priority workout day on the weekend. So, I get a dedicated slot of time to go for a long bike ride or go for a paddle or something of my choosing, and I get first dibs. I appreciate that because sometimes it feels like you get all the good slots, and this way I get one too.

RP: It’s ironic because you’re the inspiration for so many things I’ve done. I didn’t know how to be outside in nature when we first met. You opened up this world to me and provided the guiding light. So, it’s all your fault. 

LF: That’s perfect. 

RP: Seriously, I could not do this without your support. In terms of having a family, raising a child, just the fact that you allow me to run for 10 hours a week is amazing. 

LF: I’m pretty awesome. 

RP: You are pretty awesome. I know there are times when you get frustrated, but when I really need something, you always come through. It would be really hard to do this if it were a constant source of conflict. 

LF: I was in that stage for a while and I was angry at the running and jealous of the running. That stage is something many partners might feel. Everyone’s different, but for me, once I accepted your running, it was much better. 

RP: When did you accept it, and why? 

LF: I think when I realized that it made you happy. And that you were more balanced and happier for having running, and that it was important to you. Raising kids is stressful and it helps you process and get away. I think a lot of new parents have that experience. 

When I realized that it was of such benefit to you and if it benefits you, ultimately it’s going to benefit me. 

RP: (Laughs.) Ok we’re going to end it there. 

LF: You can’t end it there! That came out wrong. It’s a benefit to our family.