I have struggled with all four of the concepts(?) you wrote about, Paul. In fact, I've spent most of my life being some combination of fat, lazy, underslept and aloof. I am usually at least two of those under the best of circumstances, often three. I spent a period of time being all four in my mid-20s and it was the only time I've suffered from what I would call genuine depression (I don't say that lightly - mental health issues are not a joke). It was awful and it required a complete reboot of my personal and professional life to overcome. Addressing the "Four Pillars" has been a stop-start process for me ever since, but I am doing the best with it now than I have at any other point in the past decade.
And yet, it isn't enough. I'd argue that fulfillment could be the "Fifth Pillar." It is a nebulous concept and one that for many people may be logically folded into the Community Pillar, but I think it is different. I am of the Millenial (yuck) generation. Graduated college in August 2009 and was immediately thrust into the teeth of the Great Recession - apologies for the mixed metaphor. Millenials, like any of the previous and subsequent proper noun generations (Boomers, Zoomers, Gen-Xers, etc.), are not special - the circumstances were what they were and we all suffered during the recession in different ways (I will die before I allow myself to be tarred with the designation of "whiny millenial"). That said, starting adult life as a 21-year old with a history degree I got because I was told I needed to go to college in order to succeed and that any and all loan debt required to make that happen was just the cost of doing business, economic downturns be damned, was HARD. As a result, I have spent the last decade plus of my life trying to balance the search for fulfillment with the need for practicality (read: financial survival). I am a teacher, but it is not my calling - it's a job. I like my work and have a wonderful group of colleagues, but it isn't what I want to do. What do I want to do? No idea. I have spent my professional career to this point trying to figure that out and all I've learned about myself is what I don't want to do: customer service, sales, long commutes, corporate culture, bureaucracy, working weekends. Teaching doesn't conflict with enough of these that I've staved off a recurrence of the blues that led me to the profession almost a decade ago, but despite achieving status as a leader among my colleagues and job security in the form of a tenured position, I remain unfulfilled.
Running has been a boon recently. The anxiety/excitement before the run, the feeling of exhilaration when I find a groove mid-run, and the feeling accomplishment when its over have all been wonderful stimulators of good vibes and pleasing endorphins. But it isn't my purpose. I know a feeling of purposeless is not unique to me and it is hardly a major problem by the standards of 21st century America, but it is nevertheless my problem and one I struggle with almost every day.
So: fulfillment. The Fifth Pillar. I know the case I've made is probably silly at best and grotesquely navel-gazey at worst, but I know I am not all the way to complete despite feeling like the other Four are handled. Onward, I suppose.
I appreciate the opportunity this post provided to reflect on this and hope that there are people here who can empathize. I am rooting for all of us in 2021 and beyond. Thanks, gang.
Dude, I can very much empathize with your position. It's not navel gazing, it's life. I went through a lot of that in my final years covering the NBA. It's a totally natural deal, especially now. This may sound corny, but expressing gratitude for simple things can do a lot to help the bigger ones.
Ever since something went awry in college, sleep has been the bane of my existence. A sleep study revealed that my brain is constantly trying to wake me up because it thinks I'm not breathing (it's like apnea without the snoring). Gabapentin helps (folks with sleep issues.. talk to your doctors about it!), but I have so few nights of good, deep sleep that I'm essentially a high-functioning zombie. I get in bed with plans to wake up and go for a run, and then wake up feeling like I haven't slept in weeks, so the run gets postponed and abbreviated. I have to think my running would improve if I could get regular restful nights.
Wow, that's intense. I'd have to think you're right about running getting better with regular rest. I have found that the inverse is also true: sleep gets better with running, but that's a heavy burden to carry.
A helpful post that had me reflecting on these issues as well.
Food - Not a vegetarian, but have thought about it. Since we keep kosher in our home, we have leaned toward only buying ethical meat (a paradox, I know, but better than alternatives) which does limit the amount of meat we consume (or at least makes us think about how and what we buy). We are trying to eat more fresh fruits and veggies and have really liked Misfits Market as a great way to get those things delivered (plus a CSA in the summer). We also get a shipment of dry beans from Rancho Gordo which helps us make sure we eat less meat as well.
Exercise - I always try and get more in and it has been a struggle this year with out a regular schedule of sports/exercise activities.
Sleep - I am not the best at going to sleep early enough. I am a night owl and night is the time in my house when I get alone time (my wife goes to bed early, my son heads to his room, and the dog has been walked), so I tend to try and make it last, but that comes at the expense of sleep. That being said, I am very strict about my going to sleep process and I rarely deviate from it, so the routine helps. We have no large screens in our bedroom and I always read or train my eyes on a page (no kindle or e-reader) rather than a screen before going to sleep to help my eyes rest.
Community - While I am naturally an introvert, I do miss seeing people and engaging socially. We love hosting people and feeding people, so to not be able to do that has been very hard. And really not being able to hang out with family has been tough as well. But, we have been able to connect with friends and family in different ways which has really helped and has also changed the dynamic of what might be going forward with friends and family, so the FaceTimes have been positive in that sense for us/me.
Very into our CSA. It gets us out of food ruts and forces us to be creative with meals. It's funny about the night, that was always my time, and there's so little of it now. How did I ever stay up for west coast games?
Paul, everything in this speaks to me. I've been a vegetarian since I was 17 and I am far more than twice that age now. Many things went into that decision and as time has gone on, I don't regret it or feel that I'm missing anything. A healthy relationship with food wasn't always my forte but over the years, my attitude of food is fuel (and a little bit of fun) has lightened. Meat was just never my thing.
Oh SLEEP, you evasive mistress you. I've had major sleep issues since I was in graduate school, and maybe even longer. Who needs sleep when you have four papers to write and a 600 page research guide to read in two days? NOT ME at 24! Then again, at 24 I could drink two bottles of wine, sleep face down in the back seat of Toyota corolla and get up on two hours of sleep and run a half marathon. (Ahh, to be young and invincible again.) As I've gotten older, I've tried to regulate my bedtime, sometimes with the assistance of pharma (better living through chemistry at times), but simply so I can get get a solid 8 hours. I can't function on a couple of sporadic hours like I used to and it's so important for our mental and physical health. During the pandemic I've started to use the app 10 percent happier for meditation before bed. Sometimes it helps me fall asleep easier and other times it just keeps me from being awake all night. I've never been someone to regularly practice meditation so, man, am I ever finding it to be beneficial.
I too am not a particularly social creature. I think many runners feel that solitude you get on a run as vital to our existence. My husband will tell you that if I don't run for two days, my frustration and patience levels increase and decrease increase exponentially. Part of it is the physical activity that I crave so much but also it is the need to breathe and be in a place with my thoughts that allows for working things out. For being at peace with how things are going. For making sense of difficult things that would otherwise drive you to anguish. It's a weird and wild way to be but I wouldn't have it any other way.
That being said, this type of community that you're creating here speaks to me. I'm grateful you're doing it and look forward to each post.
Thanks Tracey. Meditation is so powerful, I plan to write more about it soon but I'm a little intimidated about it, to be honest. Even for a personal newsletter like this, my practice is super personal.
And it should be. I don't talk about it at all because no one else is feeling what I'm feeling and how I'm feeling it. This is the first I've spoken about it, which speaks volumes about the space you're creating here. Keeping some things sacred isn't a bad thing.
I've always been intrigued by going vegetarian or at least incorporating more vegetarian meals/days into my eating routine. Would love to see what you eat in a given week and some staples that you cook in a future post!
I started to phase meat out of my diet a little over a year ago (still eat fish, eggs, dairy). I've now gotten to the point where if I eat meat, it makes me feel lousy. It's almost as if my body has adapted and has no problem telling me 'hey dude, eating meat just isn't cool anymore.' It took me a while to get to the point where I could feel 'full' after a meatless meal. Like, a while. But I finally got there - and it's fantastic! I've always eaten healthy - fruits, veggies, whole wheat bread. Now, I just eat more of those foods and others that make me feel good. Yogurt, legumes, and tofu have become dietary staples. Sometimes, I'll crave a burger - especially after a long, hard run. I actually started eating the Beyond Burgers and if you haven't tried them I'm here to tell you that they are pretty freaking good! When I occasionally take a bite of my kid's leftover hot dog, I usually regret it. Having ramped up the number of workouts I'm doing each week during the pandemic, I definitely feel like I recover quicker having shifted away from eating meat. Even if it's purely mental, I am reaping the benefits of cutting out meat. I don't see myself going back.
That transition period is so important. It used to take me several days to realize when my protein was low, now I have a pretty good sense of it. I'll check out Beyond. We've been making bean burgers that are pretty good with guac.
Food is the one for me, as I'm usually the one who likes to be lights out by 11 pm and awake no later than 8. It's not always eight hours of sleep because of the cats, who like to be fed as early as 6 am.
But food's the big one: not just because I'm a bit heavier to begin with -- it was a compensating mechanism for other things I didn't like about myself. Those things ended when a doctor told me at 28 that my blood pressure was dangerously high, and given my family's history with heart attacks and strokes, I listened a bit. But food didn't click into place until a couple of years ago. I'm married to a vegetarian, which means I had to get creative about my cooking to omit meat in certain circumstances. I did do a faddish diet --- Whole 30 -- just a couple of times, and while I don't really want to do it again, succeeding at the restrictions taught me a lot of things about foods I like that I didn't realize. Now I'm looking for ways to wilt greens into everything or roast any brasica or root vegetable I can get my hands on. I love squash in ways I never thought I would. It's great.
Exercise - trying to get better. It's been a lean spell outside of the 2-4 mile run every other day. Yoga now and again helps a lot. Trying to get better.
Community - I really miss a gym because of the community, but I don't want to pay that much money for it ever again. Maybe after COVID is over I'll join a running club.
My wife tried Whole 30 for a while too. Like you said, there are good things to learn. Running clubs are great. I was never that into them before but I met a couple of folks in my trail running circles and am looking forward to connecting with them again.
Being a cat lady, allow me to suggest a timed auto feeder if humanly possible. My cats don't wake me up for food because the feeder goes off at 9pm, 2am and 6am. Just little snacks to keep them fed. Also puzzle feeders that always have some kibble available can do WONDERS 😉
i've had a very complicated relationship w/ sleep. what i find interesting about sleep is in order to be "good" at it, you need to let go of the exact traits that make you good at the other pillars of health -- discipline, planning, fighting off inertia, etc.. i did find 2 things that helped me understand my relationship w/ sleep better, thanks to... covid.
1) sleep tracking function of my GPS watch: because i started running so much, i wore out my old, bulky GPS watch & replaced it w/ a light, sleek one that i sometimes forget i'm wearing. i serendipitously fell asleep with it on one night & started monitoring how much sleep i was actually getting at night (i've put up MJ/AI-like sleep performance on some nights, although i don't know whether that's a good thing emulating them in this regard).
2) embracing naps: i stopped trying to chase off pm drowsiness (usually post-lunch) with an extra cup of coffee, and allowed myself to doze off for 20-30 mins instead. i figure when my body is trying to tell me something, i better listen to it, especially now that we spend most of our time at home.
still work in progress in terms of actually improving on my habits, but it's a start!
I was the one person in the NBA who couldn't nap. That's intersting about the tracker. I'm curious about it, but also kind of protective about the few spaces left that are completely free of tech.
I hear you. I found out completely by accident & am trying not to get neurotic about it, stopping myself at “it’s very interesting to know” without thinking about what I want to do about it.
Wow Paul, it’s like you are writing this post on my behalf.
I went vegetarian about the same time and never turned back. At 41, I have never felt healthier. My decision was also environmentally driven. Grew up as a meat and potatoes family, so I thought the transition would be more difficult. I don’t have any cravings for meat and when I do there are some nice substitutes, although processed. I have been thinking more and more going vegan, but it’s the dairy that would be the obstacle and I also eat fish maybe twice a month. My wife loves to cook and has been making some wonderful vegetarian dishes, so I just don’t seem to miss meat so much. Vegetarian still offers a lot of creativity in its dishes. Lentils and legumes are something we often consume. If I could recommend the book “Fiber Fueled” it’s a good read.
Excercise - check, although have had more of a desire to add strength training because it’s all just running now.
Sleep - some nights better than others, but I still aim to wake up at the same time on the weekends to keep my brain on schedule.
Community - I’m not very social either, but appreciate the small circle of close friends I have. Family is also very important. Covid sure has turned the world upside down. I do miss the days of a casual conversation with a stranger or a neighbor. My wife and I have moved to 3 different states in 5 years, so hopefully here is home for awhile and we can get more involved on our community.
Paul, since your writing has really helped me with my running I’d like to humbly make a recommendation to you for helping with sleep. For about 6 months I kept looking at the Shakti mat. What started as a curiosity from a Facebook ad (I know) turned into a real wonder. So for Christmas I bought one for myself. It arrived a week before and I started using it right away. It’s been over 3 weeks that I have used it faithfully every single night and I am seriously blown away by the results. First couple days took some getting used to, as it’s painful at first. But about day 4-5 my body adjusted and the biggest benefit has been my sleep. Without question it’s the best sleep I can remember possibly ever having. Let me tell you, I AM OUT! And wake up feeling super rested. If you end up trying it, which I would encourage you to do, I’d love to hear your feedback. Cheers.
Food and sleep remain the two most fascinating to me.
Food: My wife and I have both cut back on red meat, my wife much more so than me. At this point, the only traditional red meat I eat is a burger every couple weeks and then the occasional takeout spaghetti bolognese. When we cook at home, we've moved to Beyond Burgers and some plant-based options for meat tacos and and meatballs for spaghetti. I still eat chicken pretty regularly. We eat salmon once a week, and my wife enjoys sushi and other seafood while I can't stand other stuff. We've been working on finding more veggie recipes. My wife found a couple bean recipes we've really enjoyed, so I'm excited about that. I'd like to keep cutting out meat. It's a slow process, but I'm happy with it so far.
I feel like the pandemic has improved my eating habits a bit. Previously during the work week I'd eat more fast casual near our office. Even the healthiest fast casual has plenty of issues with it. I've mostly made my lunch at home since the pandemic started, although I cheat occasionally with frozen pizza (it's my weakness!). I'd like to shed a little of the love handles, but I think I've gotten into better shape during the pandemic because it's changed my eating habits to a certain degree.
Sleep: I've always been a pretty good sleeper, but quitting soda in 2013 has allowed me to get better at going to sleep quickly. The only caffeine I have now is green tea during the day and occasionally coffee ice cream. But that more than anything else has been huge for my sleep habits. As I'm sure you can imagine, Paul, the most trouble I have falling asleep is after working a prime time football game here on the east coast. It'll often take me a little longer to get to sleep because I'm still a little wired.
Sounds like you're following a similar trajectory that I went down. Little cutbacks here and there, smarter choices, it all adds up. Good stuff, man. One of the best things that ever happened to me was working from him. Those office lunches really add up.
I think people (myself included at times) get so caught up in the details. Eating correctly is probably the biggest culprit here. But usually it's broad strokes changes that make the difference - not cutting out the occasional fast food or whole pizza (I have zero self-restraint with pizza slices), but making sure that the groceries you stock your fridge and pantry with are mostly vegetables, fruits and whole grains. The picture of your fridge looks a lot like mine, and when I first noticed my fridge looked that way I thought, "I'm finally eating healthy."
Sleep is another big one. Everybody's body chemistry is different, but there are definite techniques you can use to improve your sleep if you're serious about making a change. But from my experience it seems like a lot of people deprioritize sleep and don't take the steps necessary to improve it.
And community is huge as well! Few substitutes for interacting with others and helping people out, making them smile.
I like these four pillars--inspiring toward wellness without the energy-draining pressure of perfection. I'd love to hear more in future posts on how you find and negotiate your fourth pillar as someone who is not frequently social. Food is an interesting one for me. My wife transformed my diet around whole foods since meeting her in the 90s. So quality has always been good for me. But quantity is a struggle, especially with the stress-eating that accompanied the challenges of the last 10 months in society. So, with my 47-year-old slowing metabolism, I use a calorie counter. Basic math to keep myself at a weight where I wont blow my sore knee out, so I can keep running instead of switching to walking only. I exercise every day (calories out); just need to ensure that my eating (calories in) does not outweigh that, unless it is a special occasion (such as every day of the past ten months). What are your thoughts on BMI? Even when in the best shape of my life, like ultra-ski-marathon-shape, I have been 15-20 over BMI? As for sleep, I take a nap every day...is that part of the 7-8 hours or must the 7-8 come in one consistent REM pattern? Love these four pillars!
I'm going to write about the magic 155 pounds, which happens to be right on the BMI line for my size. Even though I think BMI is imperfect, it does seem to line up with the idea of feeling TIP TOP as opposed to fit or even really fit. I don't count calories as such, but I keep a food groups tally. I'll write about it! I also struggle with quantities. My biggest health inspiration is our brother Brad who is a zen monk with food.
I have struggled with all four of the concepts(?) you wrote about, Paul. In fact, I've spent most of my life being some combination of fat, lazy, underslept and aloof. I am usually at least two of those under the best of circumstances, often three. I spent a period of time being all four in my mid-20s and it was the only time I've suffered from what I would call genuine depression (I don't say that lightly - mental health issues are not a joke). It was awful and it required a complete reboot of my personal and professional life to overcome. Addressing the "Four Pillars" has been a stop-start process for me ever since, but I am doing the best with it now than I have at any other point in the past decade.
And yet, it isn't enough. I'd argue that fulfillment could be the "Fifth Pillar." It is a nebulous concept and one that for many people may be logically folded into the Community Pillar, but I think it is different. I am of the Millenial (yuck) generation. Graduated college in August 2009 and was immediately thrust into the teeth of the Great Recession - apologies for the mixed metaphor. Millenials, like any of the previous and subsequent proper noun generations (Boomers, Zoomers, Gen-Xers, etc.), are not special - the circumstances were what they were and we all suffered during the recession in different ways (I will die before I allow myself to be tarred with the designation of "whiny millenial"). That said, starting adult life as a 21-year old with a history degree I got because I was told I needed to go to college in order to succeed and that any and all loan debt required to make that happen was just the cost of doing business, economic downturns be damned, was HARD. As a result, I have spent the last decade plus of my life trying to balance the search for fulfillment with the need for practicality (read: financial survival). I am a teacher, but it is not my calling - it's a job. I like my work and have a wonderful group of colleagues, but it isn't what I want to do. What do I want to do? No idea. I have spent my professional career to this point trying to figure that out and all I've learned about myself is what I don't want to do: customer service, sales, long commutes, corporate culture, bureaucracy, working weekends. Teaching doesn't conflict with enough of these that I've staved off a recurrence of the blues that led me to the profession almost a decade ago, but despite achieving status as a leader among my colleagues and job security in the form of a tenured position, I remain unfulfilled.
Running has been a boon recently. The anxiety/excitement before the run, the feeling of exhilaration when I find a groove mid-run, and the feeling accomplishment when its over have all been wonderful stimulators of good vibes and pleasing endorphins. But it isn't my purpose. I know a feeling of purposeless is not unique to me and it is hardly a major problem by the standards of 21st century America, but it is nevertheless my problem and one I struggle with almost every day.
So: fulfillment. The Fifth Pillar. I know the case I've made is probably silly at best and grotesquely navel-gazey at worst, but I know I am not all the way to complete despite feeling like the other Four are handled. Onward, I suppose.
I appreciate the opportunity this post provided to reflect on this and hope that there are people here who can empathize. I am rooting for all of us in 2021 and beyond. Thanks, gang.
Dude, I can very much empathize with your position. It's not navel gazing, it's life. I went through a lot of that in my final years covering the NBA. It's a totally natural deal, especially now. This may sound corny, but expressing gratitude for simple things can do a lot to help the bigger ones.
Ever since something went awry in college, sleep has been the bane of my existence. A sleep study revealed that my brain is constantly trying to wake me up because it thinks I'm not breathing (it's like apnea without the snoring). Gabapentin helps (folks with sleep issues.. talk to your doctors about it!), but I have so few nights of good, deep sleep that I'm essentially a high-functioning zombie. I get in bed with plans to wake up and go for a run, and then wake up feeling like I haven't slept in weeks, so the run gets postponed and abbreviated. I have to think my running would improve if I could get regular restful nights.
Wow, that's intense. I'd have to think you're right about running getting better with regular rest. I have found that the inverse is also true: sleep gets better with running, but that's a heavy burden to carry.
A helpful post that had me reflecting on these issues as well.
Food - Not a vegetarian, but have thought about it. Since we keep kosher in our home, we have leaned toward only buying ethical meat (a paradox, I know, but better than alternatives) which does limit the amount of meat we consume (or at least makes us think about how and what we buy). We are trying to eat more fresh fruits and veggies and have really liked Misfits Market as a great way to get those things delivered (plus a CSA in the summer). We also get a shipment of dry beans from Rancho Gordo which helps us make sure we eat less meat as well.
Exercise - I always try and get more in and it has been a struggle this year with out a regular schedule of sports/exercise activities.
Sleep - I am not the best at going to sleep early enough. I am a night owl and night is the time in my house when I get alone time (my wife goes to bed early, my son heads to his room, and the dog has been walked), so I tend to try and make it last, but that comes at the expense of sleep. That being said, I am very strict about my going to sleep process and I rarely deviate from it, so the routine helps. We have no large screens in our bedroom and I always read or train my eyes on a page (no kindle or e-reader) rather than a screen before going to sleep to help my eyes rest.
Community - While I am naturally an introvert, I do miss seeing people and engaging socially. We love hosting people and feeding people, so to not be able to do that has been very hard. And really not being able to hang out with family has been tough as well. But, we have been able to connect with friends and family in different ways which has really helped and has also changed the dynamic of what might be going forward with friends and family, so the FaceTimes have been positive in that sense for us/me.
Very into our CSA. It gets us out of food ruts and forces us to be creative with meals. It's funny about the night, that was always my time, and there's so little of it now. How did I ever stay up for west coast games?
Ha! I always aspired to watch when the Celtics played out West, but never made it through them.
Paul, everything in this speaks to me. I've been a vegetarian since I was 17 and I am far more than twice that age now. Many things went into that decision and as time has gone on, I don't regret it or feel that I'm missing anything. A healthy relationship with food wasn't always my forte but over the years, my attitude of food is fuel (and a little bit of fun) has lightened. Meat was just never my thing.
Oh SLEEP, you evasive mistress you. I've had major sleep issues since I was in graduate school, and maybe even longer. Who needs sleep when you have four papers to write and a 600 page research guide to read in two days? NOT ME at 24! Then again, at 24 I could drink two bottles of wine, sleep face down in the back seat of Toyota corolla and get up on two hours of sleep and run a half marathon. (Ahh, to be young and invincible again.) As I've gotten older, I've tried to regulate my bedtime, sometimes with the assistance of pharma (better living through chemistry at times), but simply so I can get get a solid 8 hours. I can't function on a couple of sporadic hours like I used to and it's so important for our mental and physical health. During the pandemic I've started to use the app 10 percent happier for meditation before bed. Sometimes it helps me fall asleep easier and other times it just keeps me from being awake all night. I've never been someone to regularly practice meditation so, man, am I ever finding it to be beneficial.
I too am not a particularly social creature. I think many runners feel that solitude you get on a run as vital to our existence. My husband will tell you that if I don't run for two days, my frustration and patience levels increase and decrease increase exponentially. Part of it is the physical activity that I crave so much but also it is the need to breathe and be in a place with my thoughts that allows for working things out. For being at peace with how things are going. For making sense of difficult things that would otherwise drive you to anguish. It's a weird and wild way to be but I wouldn't have it any other way.
That being said, this type of community that you're creating here speaks to me. I'm grateful you're doing it and look forward to each post.
Thanks Tracey. Meditation is so powerful, I plan to write more about it soon but I'm a little intimidated about it, to be honest. Even for a personal newsletter like this, my practice is super personal.
And it should be. I don't talk about it at all because no one else is feeling what I'm feeling and how I'm feeling it. This is the first I've spoken about it, which speaks volumes about the space you're creating here. Keeping some things sacred isn't a bad thing.
Hah. When I’m out of sorts/pacing around the house, first thing my gf asks me is “did you go for a run today?”
I've always been intrigued by going vegetarian or at least incorporating more vegetarian meals/days into my eating routine. Would love to see what you eat in a given week and some staples that you cook in a future post!
For sure. I'll be folding specific recipes and such into the Ramble. Lot of soups/stews and roasted veggie grain bowls during the winter.
I started to phase meat out of my diet a little over a year ago (still eat fish, eggs, dairy). I've now gotten to the point where if I eat meat, it makes me feel lousy. It's almost as if my body has adapted and has no problem telling me 'hey dude, eating meat just isn't cool anymore.' It took me a while to get to the point where I could feel 'full' after a meatless meal. Like, a while. But I finally got there - and it's fantastic! I've always eaten healthy - fruits, veggies, whole wheat bread. Now, I just eat more of those foods and others that make me feel good. Yogurt, legumes, and tofu have become dietary staples. Sometimes, I'll crave a burger - especially after a long, hard run. I actually started eating the Beyond Burgers and if you haven't tried them I'm here to tell you that they are pretty freaking good! When I occasionally take a bite of my kid's leftover hot dog, I usually regret it. Having ramped up the number of workouts I'm doing each week during the pandemic, I definitely feel like I recover quicker having shifted away from eating meat. Even if it's purely mental, I am reaping the benefits of cutting out meat. I don't see myself going back.
That transition period is so important. It used to take me several days to realize when my protein was low, now I have a pretty good sense of it. I'll check out Beyond. We've been making bean burgers that are pretty good with guac.
Food is the one for me, as I'm usually the one who likes to be lights out by 11 pm and awake no later than 8. It's not always eight hours of sleep because of the cats, who like to be fed as early as 6 am.
But food's the big one: not just because I'm a bit heavier to begin with -- it was a compensating mechanism for other things I didn't like about myself. Those things ended when a doctor told me at 28 that my blood pressure was dangerously high, and given my family's history with heart attacks and strokes, I listened a bit. But food didn't click into place until a couple of years ago. I'm married to a vegetarian, which means I had to get creative about my cooking to omit meat in certain circumstances. I did do a faddish diet --- Whole 30 -- just a couple of times, and while I don't really want to do it again, succeeding at the restrictions taught me a lot of things about foods I like that I didn't realize. Now I'm looking for ways to wilt greens into everything or roast any brasica or root vegetable I can get my hands on. I love squash in ways I never thought I would. It's great.
Exercise - trying to get better. It's been a lean spell outside of the 2-4 mile run every other day. Yoga now and again helps a lot. Trying to get better.
Community - I really miss a gym because of the community, but I don't want to pay that much money for it ever again. Maybe after COVID is over I'll join a running club.
My wife tried Whole 30 for a while too. Like you said, there are good things to learn. Running clubs are great. I was never that into them before but I met a couple of folks in my trail running circles and am looking forward to connecting with them again.
I have a coworker who is part of one and plan to ask her more about it in the future.
Being a cat lady, allow me to suggest a timed auto feeder if humanly possible. My cats don't wake me up for food because the feeder goes off at 9pm, 2am and 6am. Just little snacks to keep them fed. Also puzzle feeders that always have some kibble available can do WONDERS 😉
We’ve got one. The issue is they eat both dry and wet food — and like the wet food! But thank you!
i've had a very complicated relationship w/ sleep. what i find interesting about sleep is in order to be "good" at it, you need to let go of the exact traits that make you good at the other pillars of health -- discipline, planning, fighting off inertia, etc.. i did find 2 things that helped me understand my relationship w/ sleep better, thanks to... covid.
1) sleep tracking function of my GPS watch: because i started running so much, i wore out my old, bulky GPS watch & replaced it w/ a light, sleek one that i sometimes forget i'm wearing. i serendipitously fell asleep with it on one night & started monitoring how much sleep i was actually getting at night (i've put up MJ/AI-like sleep performance on some nights, although i don't know whether that's a good thing emulating them in this regard).
2) embracing naps: i stopped trying to chase off pm drowsiness (usually post-lunch) with an extra cup of coffee, and allowed myself to doze off for 20-30 mins instead. i figure when my body is trying to tell me something, i better listen to it, especially now that we spend most of our time at home.
still work in progress in terms of actually improving on my habits, but it's a start!
I was the one person in the NBA who couldn't nap. That's intersting about the tracker. I'm curious about it, but also kind of protective about the few spaces left that are completely free of tech.
I hear you. I found out completely by accident & am trying not to get neurotic about it, stopping myself at “it’s very interesting to know” without thinking about what I want to do about it.
Haha, perfect.
Wow Paul, it’s like you are writing this post on my behalf.
I went vegetarian about the same time and never turned back. At 41, I have never felt healthier. My decision was also environmentally driven. Grew up as a meat and potatoes family, so I thought the transition would be more difficult. I don’t have any cravings for meat and when I do there are some nice substitutes, although processed. I have been thinking more and more going vegan, but it’s the dairy that would be the obstacle and I also eat fish maybe twice a month. My wife loves to cook and has been making some wonderful vegetarian dishes, so I just don’t seem to miss meat so much. Vegetarian still offers a lot of creativity in its dishes. Lentils and legumes are something we often consume. If I could recommend the book “Fiber Fueled” it’s a good read.
Excercise - check, although have had more of a desire to add strength training because it’s all just running now.
Sleep - some nights better than others, but I still aim to wake up at the same time on the weekends to keep my brain on schedule.
Community - I’m not very social either, but appreciate the small circle of close friends I have. Family is also very important. Covid sure has turned the world upside down. I do miss the days of a casual conversation with a stranger or a neighbor. My wife and I have moved to 3 different states in 5 years, so hopefully here is home for awhile and we can get more involved on our community.
Thanks again for another great read!
Thanks for the rec, and for the kind words, I'll check it out. I'll get into strength training soon. With you on dairy, plus eggs are a huge staple.
I feel the same!
Paul, since your writing has really helped me with my running I’d like to humbly make a recommendation to you for helping with sleep. For about 6 months I kept looking at the Shakti mat. What started as a curiosity from a Facebook ad (I know) turned into a real wonder. So for Christmas I bought one for myself. It arrived a week before and I started using it right away. It’s been over 3 weeks that I have used it faithfully every single night and I am seriously blown away by the results. First couple days took some getting used to, as it’s painful at first. But about day 4-5 my body adjusted and the biggest benefit has been my sleep. Without question it’s the best sleep I can remember possibly ever having. Let me tell you, I AM OUT! And wake up feeling super rested. If you end up trying it, which I would encourage you to do, I’d love to hear your feedback. Cheers.
Oh interesting, I'll check it out. Thanks for the rec.
Food and sleep remain the two most fascinating to me.
Food: My wife and I have both cut back on red meat, my wife much more so than me. At this point, the only traditional red meat I eat is a burger every couple weeks and then the occasional takeout spaghetti bolognese. When we cook at home, we've moved to Beyond Burgers and some plant-based options for meat tacos and and meatballs for spaghetti. I still eat chicken pretty regularly. We eat salmon once a week, and my wife enjoys sushi and other seafood while I can't stand other stuff. We've been working on finding more veggie recipes. My wife found a couple bean recipes we've really enjoyed, so I'm excited about that. I'd like to keep cutting out meat. It's a slow process, but I'm happy with it so far.
I feel like the pandemic has improved my eating habits a bit. Previously during the work week I'd eat more fast casual near our office. Even the healthiest fast casual has plenty of issues with it. I've mostly made my lunch at home since the pandemic started, although I cheat occasionally with frozen pizza (it's my weakness!). I'd like to shed a little of the love handles, but I think I've gotten into better shape during the pandemic because it's changed my eating habits to a certain degree.
Sleep: I've always been a pretty good sleeper, but quitting soda in 2013 has allowed me to get better at going to sleep quickly. The only caffeine I have now is green tea during the day and occasionally coffee ice cream. But that more than anything else has been huge for my sleep habits. As I'm sure you can imagine, Paul, the most trouble I have falling asleep is after working a prime time football game here on the east coast. It'll often take me a little longer to get to sleep because I'm still a little wired.
Sounds like you're following a similar trajectory that I went down. Little cutbacks here and there, smarter choices, it all adds up. Good stuff, man. One of the best things that ever happened to me was working from him. Those office lunches really add up.
Couldn't agree more - what a great post.
I think people (myself included at times) get so caught up in the details. Eating correctly is probably the biggest culprit here. But usually it's broad strokes changes that make the difference - not cutting out the occasional fast food or whole pizza (I have zero self-restraint with pizza slices), but making sure that the groceries you stock your fridge and pantry with are mostly vegetables, fruits and whole grains. The picture of your fridge looks a lot like mine, and when I first noticed my fridge looked that way I thought, "I'm finally eating healthy."
Sleep is another big one. Everybody's body chemistry is different, but there are definite techniques you can use to improve your sleep if you're serious about making a change. But from my experience it seems like a lot of people deprioritize sleep and don't take the steps necessary to improve it.
And community is huge as well! Few substitutes for interacting with others and helping people out, making them smile.
Thank you so much. Those are great points and, for the record I've been known to house a pizza after a long run with curly fries on the side.
I like these four pillars--inspiring toward wellness without the energy-draining pressure of perfection. I'd love to hear more in future posts on how you find and negotiate your fourth pillar as someone who is not frequently social. Food is an interesting one for me. My wife transformed my diet around whole foods since meeting her in the 90s. So quality has always been good for me. But quantity is a struggle, especially with the stress-eating that accompanied the challenges of the last 10 months in society. So, with my 47-year-old slowing metabolism, I use a calorie counter. Basic math to keep myself at a weight where I wont blow my sore knee out, so I can keep running instead of switching to walking only. I exercise every day (calories out); just need to ensure that my eating (calories in) does not outweigh that, unless it is a special occasion (such as every day of the past ten months). What are your thoughts on BMI? Even when in the best shape of my life, like ultra-ski-marathon-shape, I have been 15-20 over BMI? As for sleep, I take a nap every day...is that part of the 7-8 hours or must the 7-8 come in one consistent REM pattern? Love these four pillars!
I'm going to write about the magic 155 pounds, which happens to be right on the BMI line for my size. Even though I think BMI is imperfect, it does seem to line up with the idea of feeling TIP TOP as opposed to fit or even really fit. I don't count calories as such, but I keep a food groups tally. I'll write about it! I also struggle with quantities. My biggest health inspiration is our brother Brad who is a zen monk with food.
How to balance that with the body shame that can lead to fit folks not wanting to work out at all because they are not Moose-bots? :)
Man, yeah.