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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

I'm going to write something that may upset people, but it is the most honest I can be. I'm anxious and afraid for the before times to return (in some form or fashion). If we're talking about life in general, I am in the most comfortable place I've ever been in my life. As someone (in the long ago days) that commuted via two buses in the morning and two buses at night, and not being a morning runner, trying to squeeze a run in each day was difficult and stressful. I found myself running home from work wearing an awkward backpack in order to get miles in.

Since March, I have been working from home and I'm able to fully get back to those days where my day revolves around when I can run. I get up early, work for about four hours, go for my run and then come home and work for another 4 hours (if I'm lucky). Its all I've ever dreamed of. No commute, run every day, work in my 'nice pajamas'.

That being said, because of those early days of dirty looks and non-runner ire, I have routine where I run in circles in a cemetery in my neighborhood. Sure, running several .75 mile loops might sound boring but it's quiet. It's dynamic with hills and flats. It's peaceful. It's my saving grace. The irony of happiness for a place for the dead is not lost on me. I like to tell myself that I'm visiting all those who no longer have loved ones visit, keeping them company and spreading joy in a joyless place.

My relationship with running started when was a teenager struggling to find something that resembled confidence and during the pandemic is morphed into something, the only thing, in this world that I have any control over. Is that sad? Maybe.

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I feel that and I don't think it's sad at all. To have something that valuable in your life, to me, is priceless. One thing I hope the world reconsiders is the commute. Trying to be an optimist about that. And your cemetary runs sound serene.

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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

Really interesting to hear how your running has changed. I've also found much more space to run, and even more flexibility around when I do so. I'm still a morning runner, but don't really worry if I decide not to run one morning because I know I'll have no problem making it up that night if I want to. I used to hate leaving my run up to fate and hoping I'd get home from work in time to sneak one in.

I've now run two virtual races during COVID, both self-created. The first was a 50 mile solo trail run (wrote about it here: https://www.efwritingproject.com/race-report-mianus-river-park-50m/) and the second was a marathon in Brooklyn with the friend who pointed me to your newsletter (wrote about it here: https://www.efwritingproject.com/race-report-south-brooklyn-slog-26-09/).

The races cemented a change that has been accelerated during COVID and which you write about above: my running is bigger part of my life than ever, but it also feels more weightless than before. I don't beat myself up as much for skipping out on a run, and I could care less about my pace. It's been such a great de-stressor and head-clearer that the athletic component of it seems like a tenth-order concern.

Love reading your stuff and the way it makes me reflect on my own running!

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That's dope, I'll check those out. It's funny about pressure. Once it's lifted for whatever reason, things suddenly become easier. Working on that, as well.

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It's changed how I manage stress, how I respond to myself physically (including everything from food + drink to sleep + recover), and how I structure my week. I was never a runner. Athlete? Maybe by definition. Runner, no chance. I ran when I had an unhealthy relationship with my body to lose as much weight as possible, as punishment for how much I hated myself, and the dysmorphia I still suffer from creeps up over and over. Running was my cage; if I needed to make myself feel bad for my decisions, I could always queue it up and make it happen.

The pandemic shifted that.

It's the first time I'm running *for* me, for no other reason than I want to do it. I look forward to runs (something that never happened before this), I get upset if my schedule gets altered and I can't make it out or I have to cut a run short (working on this), and it's one component of an overall attempt to be ... well, better.

It's a piece, along with stretching/yoga, along with meditation, along with better nutrition (at times, we're still in a pandemic), along with strength training, along with rolling + massage gun sessions. The data helps me stay on top, but more than anything, it just helps all of this become easier to track. I'm not a slave to the calories burned like I used to be; instead I like to celebrate that I *did* this.

For years I said I wanted to train for a half. I never said it in a way that was serious enough, but it was a goal, out there like "go to Berlin" or "learn how to make latte art." But with nothing standing in the way I went and did it, and then kept running. It's not a stretch to say that running kept me from falling apart these last few months.

I can't imagine how I'd be coping otherwise.

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Dude, congrats on the half. That's awesome. I'd never compare life situations, but it sounds like you're getting to a place with running where I was a few years ago. Stay strong. You've got this.

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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

I feel and see you and hope you can continue to get better.

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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

This may sound hyperbolic but I feel like running has helped me keep it together during the pandemic. I've always been a big believer that exercise feeds into mental well-being (at least for me) and that has never been more apparent than this year. When the pandemic started, I was just kind of doing my normal routine with running. But I've definitely taken it up a few notches both in terms of mileage and pushing myself. The runs where it all comes together feel absolutely sublime. Even the runs that are a slog to get through have a positive impact because I remind myself that sometimes just getting out there is good enough. Even as my work schedule was altered because of the pandemic, I still found myself getting up at the same time to get my run in. Why? Because that's what I always do...and any sliver of normalcy in 2020 is a good thing.

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Right on and not hyperbolic at all. Here's to normalcy in 2021

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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

you had me at "anonymous weirdos."

thanks for writing this, paul.

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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

Before the pandemic, I would run in the afternoon following work. I preferred not getting up early, and I didn't mind the crowds running here in DC (down to the White House and around the Mall has been part of my routine). I came down with walking pneumonia in early March (almost certain it was not Covid) and that laid me up.

I remember the first time running in April was at a park across the street from me with my face mask on. I didn't have a bandana and with a shaved head, that means sweat drips down easily. Prior to the pandemic I would just wipe it off with my hand. Once Covid hit, I didn't want to wipe my face with my hands. So, I bought some headbands and have been running with those now.

Most interesting is now I run primarily in the morning. I work from home regularly and so it's easier to get going in the morning knowing I don't have to do much dressing up for work or deal with walking the 25 minutes to work. Not a huge deal, but enough that it's easier to run in the AM when I don't have to deal with crowds. And I'm loving it. It's peaceful out and I can get behind a sort of relaxing aspect to the run.

I've grown super comfortable with the face mask, and it's particularly helpful protecting my face when it gets cold. I don't plan on sticking with the mask after the pandemic for the most part, but it's interesting how quickly I grew comfortable with it.

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I used to love running through the streets of Philly in the afternoon when I was younger. I'd be like Barry Sanders spinning and cutting around pedestrians. Now I'm like, who was that guy?

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I'm leaning toward sticking with morning runs after the pandemic. I still love running through the city, but the freedom of movement when there aren't a bunch of people around (especially DC tourists not really paying attention to people around them) has been eye-opening for me.

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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

Thanks for this post. I also liked your earlier pandemic running posts that were still on SB Nation. Those started me thinking about getting back into running and these help motivate me when it is cold. Pre-pandemic and pre a few years ago, I played hoops twice a week, 2 hours per run. On the off days/weekends, I would run (maybe) or more likely go rock climbing with my son. Running was left to the summer when one of my basketball runs took a hiatus. Despite my XCountry background, I did not enjoy running (especially street running) and basically thought of it as a way to stay in shape so I could still play basketball. But, then, as a family, we discovered trail running and my son and I started doing races. He loved the races (he is quite good and competed with adults as a 10-12 year old) and I loved running in the woods. In 2019, I ran a trail race almost every month from May through October and for first time since high school I felt like I really liked running and felt like I was actually getting better and improving. But, as the fall ended, I injured my knee and discovered that I needed surgery. While a bummer, I figured I would be back by the spring of 2020. Well, as the pandemic hit, my surgery was cancelled and then when it was rescheduled, my wife had her own physical needs, so my surgery is now off indefinitely. But, my knee stopped hurting, so I started small getting back on the trails. I run when I can, which living in a more urban setting, isn't as often as I want because to find a trail, I need to drive (and I think I need to drive father to find a less busy open space area). When I am stressed, my wife tells me to go run because she knows (and so do I) that I will come back feeling better and more relaxed. What was a chore is now a valuable part of my own self care, but I do miss the races. I love competing and I love the structure that the races provide, not to mention the community of runners that we have met. I am looking forward to those times coming back on some level.

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My favorite thing about races is thinking to myself, hey I get to run uninterrupted for X hours and I don't have to worry about anything else. Take care of yourself. Glad you're able to get out there. Even a little goes a long way.

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Dec 21, 2020Liked by Paul Flannery

I started running in August. Following a talking to by my doctor--who I hadn't visited in 20 years.

At 53 I'm a masters runner and a beginner all at the same time.

My job is very stressful. I generally work from home now and I don't care for it and long for things to be normal.

I was a frequent gym visitor in the past but became horribly out of shape and generally unhealthy. When I did work out, I always went around 5-5:30 am. To keep some sense of normalcy I have continued to get up at 5 and run in the dark. It's the best part of my day. I live in rural NH and there is no traffic that early. And I feel very virtuous when I am finished.

I ran my first 5k virtual race on Sunday. It was very slow because of the snow-covered roads but I did it.

I very much enjoyed your writing about cold weather running. Most of my running has been in the cold. I am definitely looking forward to running in the warmth and early morning light.

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What an awesome comment to read right after I log back on. Congrats on the 5K! That's fantastic.

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Thank you!

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Same general feeling. Before COVID-19 I ran, swam, and did resistance training at the gym. Running is all I have left because there is no way I’m going to my gym :). I appreciate it much more though. Before it was seen as the cardio to go along with everything else unless I was specifically training for a run or a triathlon. Now, it feels good to head out, even when I don’t feel like it. For a while, it was my only break from my two kids who were doing virtual school while I was working from home (and wife was still at work). Almost nothing can feel as good as that run after a work day AND helping kids with virtual education.

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I was really excited to run my second marathon this fall in addition to some other smaller races, but that all went by the wayside in March. However, working from home (and having easy access to a treadmill) has given me more time to run/workout for which I'm grateful. I've been able to keep up my running, had my fastest half-marathon time and have been able to do a long run every Sunday that I build up to every week.

I haven't quite gotten myself to run a virtual race yet, but I'll probably do something along those lines in 2021 because we're still a while away from in-person races. Outside of that, my other goal is to run outside more consistently next year after going in and out of it during the pandemic.

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